Runway or Run Away?

I am not someone who likes to take chances (which is rapidly changing)...I like to know the outcome. I like to be prepared and I like to have a Plan B and Plan C should anything go wrong with Plan A. It all started with the first Tucson Fashion Week I attended a few years ago. I wanted to go for several reasons, some of which included- (1) I wanted to meet an artist I had just started to follow named Tanina Jackson & (2) I feel like sometimes Tucson just doesn't have awesome things like their own FASHION WEEK-so I had to go!

I brought two friends along with me and I remember one designer in particular named-Elizabeth. I had seen her running all over creation, I thought she was beautiful and then I remember being stunned when I realized she was one of the designers participating in Tucson Fashion Week. 

Fast forward to TODAY, well technically, about 2-3 months ago. I had started this new self love evolution...I was all about embracing everything I am, my strengths, my weaknesses, body acceptance, some really hard shit that I didn't really want to think about and then I came across an invite to an open casting call for runway models. Who is the designer you ask? ELIZABETH!!!!

I jumped at the opportunity to attend this casting call and sent in some pictures that, looking back, I wish I had taken more carefully! They weren't terrible but they also weren't very thought out. I received an email for the actual casting call date as well as the attire requirements. I was full of excitement and thrilled to be doing something so "out of the box" for myself. 

The week of the casting call I was like a teeter totter. One day I would coward away from the idea and the next I would slap myself silly for thinking of backing out. The day before the actual casting call I told myself this was it...I could regret not going for the rest of my life or I could stare that bitch named "Fear" in the face and do this thing for me and only me. I set up a make shift tripod using a chair & a box and I took my body shot pictures. I decided on the exact outfit I would wear, my hair and make up. I got my pictures developed and I arranged for my son to go with his Nana while Mommy did her "modeling job". 

**Side note: I almost cried because of the AMAZING support my little boy was giving me**

Deciding jewelry...

The morning of, I was on cloud nine but I was also very anxious. I told myself there was no turning back and the worst that could happen is I would fall on my face in front of everyone. That's not that bad right? So I started getting ready... Beyonce was BLARING in the background and I threw on every OUNCE of confidence I could find!

Hair Before & After....

Ready to conquer the WORLD!

I won't lie, once I dropped off my son, I seriously considered going home. To add to the desire to ditch it all, I was going to be early! Doubt was sinking in and I started to second guess what I was doing. Why was I doing this again? What made me think I could even show up to this? I looked in the mirror to check my make up and just then another car pulled in. I looked at the beautiful woman that stepped out and all the confidence came back. 

I am here because I want to be a part of a beautiful project and I wanted the honor of working with Elizabeth. But more importantly, I was here because I wanted to celebrate ME. I wanted to get out of my comfort zone and do something utterly terrifying yet incredibly liberating! I wanted to let my insecurities fall with every step I took in front of Elizabeth and her team. 

As I walked in to the dance studio where the casting call would take place I felt like I had already defeated my fears and I was experiencing something so beautiful on the inside...but the beauty of it all didn't end there. The ladies started to show up, a couple women (whom happen to be cousins) were sitting next to me and we started to chat. We shared our doubts and fears, we laughed and discussed how we had heard about Elizabeth among other amazing women of Tucson. I felt good...really good. 

The casting call started, I was on edge, trembling but confident in staying there. Elizabeth told the room we would walk and we were free to go or stay to watch everyone else. I had a sticker on my shirt that had the number 2 on it but it hadn't registered that I would be the second person to walk. My name was called and there was no turning back. I focused on walking, feeling the music, flashing a warm smile and NOT falling. I started my walk back to my spot on the wall and received applause...it felt AMAZING! I was done! I had done it! And all these beautiful women were showing me their support by applauding me! From then on, no one left, everyone clapped for their fellow woman...we hooted, we hollered and the room was FULL of love. 

One of the many beautiful women...

Group shot afterward!

Jes-The Militant Baker Blog Queen!

I was around so many beautiful women that day-I conquered a fear, I made friends and I was able to meet some of the local female bloggers I respect & admire. I felt like this is how life should be in general. Each woman owning her Queendom, wearing her crown of confidence everywhere she goes...celebrating, supporting and LOVING the women around her. 

We should be finding out soon whether or not any of us will working with Elizabeth! I'll post an update as soon as I find out!!! Either way, it was an honor to be around her and the rest of the women whom attended this casting call...and I did something I never thought I could ever do! 

-R

****UPDATE! As of today, August 14, 2013: I got the email! They chose me!!!! I'm beside myself in disbelief, proud I even attended the casting call and excited to rep Candy Strike and Elizabeth!!!!!!!****