Hau'oli Makahiki Hou

At the end of every year people start to set goals, resolutions and buy gym memberships. Last year, I started the tradition with myself to choose words to focus on. Its amazing to look back at 2013 and see just how much of my year lined up with those words. Today I was reading an article and I realized that 2013 was going to be over as of midnight and I still hadn't chosen my words for 2014. As I was reading this article a few words jumped out at me.

I try not to choose more than three words because I feel that is too broad and doesn't leave room for focus. I also can't choose just one or two words because I want to have some range in what the year ahead will look like. The first word I scribbled down was ACCOUNTABILITY. I don't feel like looking at the last year was digging too far into the past as much as I feel like its important to look back honestly and reflect. Looking back over 2013 I feel like I made a lot of excuses. Excuses to pardon myself from goals I had put off and had no intention of pursuing. In choosing ACCOUNTABILITY...I choose to hold myself responsible for plans I make with my son, dates I set with friends, promises and goals I make for myself with NO EXCUSES as to why they aren't happening. 

The next word I scribbled and really look forward to meditating on is ACCEPTANCE. I have made leaps and bounds in 2013 regarding myself and others. In 2013 I attended an open casting call for a local designer whom I admire and look up to. Not only did she choose me as one of her runway models, but I'm going to be featured on her website as a model as well. WHO THE HELL WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING!?!?!?! I didn't! I broke out of my own shell of discomfort and I rocked a bikini this past summer...unapologetically! So LIBERATING! As far as others go, I swallow my pride on a regular basis loving people through our differences....and that is not to toot my own horn as much as it is to say that we've grown! In 2014, I want to further ACCEPTANCE. I want a stronger sense of love for myself. I want to LOVE myself and every stretch mark, extra pound, developing wrinkle and other imperfection FIERCELY. I want to live in an acceptance that in all situations, rather than letting my emotions or ego get the best of me...that I can still move forward with my head held high, breathing in life deeply. I want to focus on loving and accepting people right where they're at....no ulterior motives, no alternate agendas...just walking in love.

Finally, I jotted down ENOUGH. I can't say I have lived a single day of my life feeling like I was ENOUGH. Why is that? Its upsetting to some extent and it should be! I embrace learning experiences and opportunities to grow. I condemn pressure to feel like I need to change in order to be accepted or loved. No one should have to feel like they have to meet the standards or rules that aren't truly there only to be told they have fallen short and don't meet the requirements for something as simple as acceptance. Acceptance should be the foundation, where we start, something to build on. Another degree of this ENOUGH is understanding myself to know when I have had enough...good or bad. To be able to stop & be still in any situation...simply take it all in without letting what is happening diminish me. I.AM.ENOUGH. 

As for my NYE plans...? I might take in a comedy show. I might go out and make stupid decisions. I might stay in gussied up, sippin' on wine til midnight...or until I pass out (which could be at 10PM). I don't really have a plan but what I do plan on...is being present, enjoying everyday of 2014...learning, growing & loving-myself, the people around me... and LIFE. Tomorrow is not guaranteed & with all that is uncertain, I am certain that I was put here to be the best possible version of myself and I intend on loving her with all I've got!

Hau'oli Makahiki Hou!

-R