Defining "Queendom"

Somewhere between my self-esteem issues and reading about what some women were doing in their own journeys (Definitely a blog post for later!), I decided it was time for a makeover. Not the type of makeover where I change my make-up, hair styles and outfits until I get sick of doing it but a makeover starting from the heart and working my way outward.

Rumor has it, because I refuse to do any type of yard work,  that the best way to get rid of a "weed" is at the root. I felt like a lot of my heart beliefs about myself and life were "weeds" rooted in my heart. Some of those issues were from events that happened in my childhood. I don't think I ever stopped to really question any of them, I just lived with these perceptions that became beliefs. 

For me, the heart isn't a stone where everything I have ever believed is etched in permanently. For me, my heart is more like a giant dry erase board where I have some beliefs that have been there a LONG time...and others have been put there more recently. One of those beliefs I recently added, is the belief in my Queendom.

The first time I ever heard the term "Queendom" I was watching "Dave Chappelle's Block Party" (Which I HIGHLY recommend, it has some great music!). The crew was shooting footage back stage where Jill Scott sat watching Erykah Badu's performance on a flat screen. Ms. Scott said the following:

"We all have our own thing...that's the magic. That everybody comes with their own sense of strength & their own Queendom. Mine could never compare to hers & hers could never compare to mine."

That sentence really stuck with me..."Mine could never compare to hers and hers could never compare to mine." I loved it! Queendom has been something I have been meditating on for quite some time now. Its something I want to continue to define, embrace and live for myself. It won't be for anyone other than myself. My Queendom is authentic, its personalized for me, its everything I am as well as everything I am not.

My Queendom is celebrating my strengths, accepting my weaknesses and loving it all FIERCELY. To sit back, breathe and look at WHO I am seems so foreign. I feel like I get into this auto-pilot style of living that I'm just going through the motions. I don't want to live that way, in fact, I don't feel like its living at all. I would never go back and change anything, where I am today came from those experiences. That being said, those experiences also contributed to my Queendom today. 

"My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am."

- Anais Nin

My Queendom is intentional. My Queendom is breaking free from feeling like I need to be any different than who I am. My Queendom is taking time to discover all characteristics I possess, good and bad. My Queendom is body acceptance. My Queendom is spiritual & mental health. My Queendom is unconditional love. 

My Queendom is unwavering peace. My Queendom is open to learning. My Queendom is constantly striving to be the best version of myself. My Queendom is still developing and its definitely more than just confidence. I think confidence is a small, yet contributing characteristic. One thing I do know, without a doubt, is that this is the beginning of something very beautiful. 

-R