The "T-Shirt" Ban

About three weeks ago, I sat on the edge of my bed, staring blankly at the clothing rack in my room. This rack held every item of clothing (for the most part) that I owned. Frustration and anger started to boil within me and I had one single thought, "I hate everything!" 

I hated the items that were adorable yet I felt over dressed for wearing them, so there they hung, with the tags still attached. I hated the pants that press into my stomach and make me feel like biscuit dough popping out of the can. I hated the blouses that I felt made me appear to be a couple sizes bigger than I actually am-just to hide my stomach. As I stare, angry, I noticed one common piece that I had a love/hate relationship with... T-SHIRTS.

How had I become this collector of something so comfortable yet so diminishing? I love(d) t-shirts BUT I feel like I was hiding in them. I'm hiding love handles. I'm hiding my stomach, hips and thighs. I'm hiding that I feel less-than-sexy and pretending to be cute. I almost wanted to cry. How did I get here?

I decided I was done with self pity but I didn't know what to do. I decided a good place to start was to take every single t-shirt off the clothing rack. I laid each one out on my bed and I banned them. I would stop hiding behind a rainbow of comfortable t-shirts. I would stop feeling like just because I am a mother and carry more weight than I have in my life that I could be any less than fabulous. 

I wanted to scream...   

I AM A WOMAN DAMN IT

I have every right to feel glamorous, beautiful, sassy and fierce! I want to feel good when I leave the house. Even if I am an emotional wreck, I want to have something beautiful on. I want to strut in wedges. I want to rock large, bulky necklaces. (**Side note: Hair & make up are a whole other blog post!) I deserved and deserve this!

Fast forward to today! Its been three weeks and I have put together some seriously FUN outfits! I still feel a little uncomfortable but I also feel FABULOUS! I've taken pieces I would be too worried to pair and rocked them to work...I've even gotten compliments from coworkers saying, "You've been especially sassy lately, is there something we need to know?" 

Pfffft! As if a MAN had anything to do with my awesomeness!?! Pa-lease! This cuteness happened all by me! By my choice! 

My choice! My choice to stop being a comfy-t-shirt-wearing woman whom hid her insecurities and doubted herself more than she should. Not because I feel like my worth is tied up in how I look. My choice to wear something fabulous because I am a Queen and its time to OWN the Queendom. From the top of my head to the tips of my self-pedicured toes...I am embracing all that I am, celebrating myself & loving her fiercely. Yes there were blogs I had been reading and articles about feminism that helped spark this new sense of freedom, however, me being me-I wasn't going to change anything until I was ready. Damn it, I was...I am ready. This was the beginning of an evolution within me and it all started with a t-shirt ban. 

-R