To My Son Whom I Love So Much....
Happy Birthday Baby. I believe that you were chosen for me and I for you. I can say, hands down, that you have taught me more in your 9 years on this planet than anyone else I have ever known. I love our conversations & that you are able to confide in me. I am constantly amazed by how mature you are and how pure your heart is. You keep me accountable and you also keep me young. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and the best thing I've done with my time here.
Life did not play out the way I would have liked when it comes to my relationship with your dad. The struggles you face from going between our very different households to feeling caught in the middle of our relationship and co-parenting struggles weighs heavily on my heart. I hate that we did that to you & I can see how you struggle to cope with it. I cannot emphasize enough that the ultimate desire I have for your life is that you are happy, that you know you are loved and that have the support of your family.
As you grow, I am starting to feel the distance that must be placed between us. The distance is necessary for you to fail, triumph, mature and grow into the man you will be. I recognize that it hurts to let go. It hurts to allow certain things, situations and people to affect you. I have to admit that I worry and I have insecurities. I find myself asking several questions, daily...like "Does he have enough of a faith foundation?"..."Am I doing the right thing here?"..."Am I supporting him to the best of my ability?".
It hurts and its scary but those feelings are mine and not yours to burden. That being said, I'm sure you will get sick of me always checking in on your mind and heart to see how you are feeling about things but I do hope that you know that my concern comes from a caring place. A place of always wanting to make sure that you never feel alone but that you always feel free to be yourself and make your own choices. A place of wanting you to build confidence in yourself and find your own authentic voice.
We only get one life here. Its hard not to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders...pushing us to go one way or another. I hope you know all that makes you special and that it has zero to do with what everyone else is doing. I want you to know that the world is at your fingertips. Anything and everything is possible with hard work, determination, passion & love.
I hope that you have an open heart as well as an open mind for all of this world's possibilities. I pray that people's closed-minded opinions...beliefs rooted in hatred/fear and the tragedies of the world wouldn't weigh you down or scare you...but rather would encourage you to be the change you wish to see. The change the world needs. I have so much hope & faith in you Van.
I love you more than you could possibly imagine, Son. You are one of my best friends and I love our relationship. I pray it continues to grow as you do. I vow to be by your side so you never feel alone. I promise to have your back when you need support and need help back up on your feet. You may be growing up faster than I would like but you will always be my baby and I will always be your Mom.
Me Ke Aloha Pumehana,
Mom
As you grow, I am starting to feel the distance that must be placed between us. The distance is necessary for you to fail, triumph, mature and grow into the man you will be. I recognize that it hurts to let go. It hurts to allow certain things, situations and people to affect you. I have to admit that I worry and I have insecurities. I find myself asking several questions, daily...like "Does he have enough of a faith foundation?"..."Am I doing the right thing here?"..."Am I supporting him to the best of my ability?".
It hurts and its scary but those feelings are mine and not yours to burden. That being said, I'm sure you will get sick of me always checking in on your mind and heart to see how you are feeling about things but I do hope that you know that my concern comes from a caring place. A place of always wanting to make sure that you never feel alone but that you always feel free to be yourself and make your own choices. A place of wanting you to build confidence in yourself and find your own authentic voice.
We only get one life here. Its hard not to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders...pushing us to go one way or another. I hope you know all that makes you special and that it has zero to do with what everyone else is doing. I want you to know that the world is at your fingertips. Anything and everything is possible with hard work, determination, passion & love.
I hope that you have an open heart as well as an open mind for all of this world's possibilities. I pray that people's closed-minded opinions...beliefs rooted in hatred/fear and the tragedies of the world wouldn't weigh you down or scare you...but rather would encourage you to be the change you wish to see. The change the world needs. I have so much hope & faith in you Van.
I love you more than you could possibly imagine, Son. You are one of my best friends and I love our relationship. I pray it continues to grow as you do. I vow to be by your side so you never feel alone. I promise to have your back when you need support and need help back up on your feet. You may be growing up faster than I would like but you will always be my baby and I will always be your Mom.
Me Ke Aloha Pumehana,
Mom
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