I just so happened to find a couple videos that BuzzFeed had posted about women trying Boudoir Photo Shoots for themselves. In one video, a woman named Daysha took the photos to help her love herself. In the other video, new moms took photos within the first year of having their babies. In both of these videos I found pieces of myself. It wasn't just these videos though, I've been working on loving the body I am in since I had my son...8 years ago.
Today's society tells us so many conflicting ideas of what we are supposed to be as women. We should have a thigh gap, a curvy figure with a small waist, our faces should be painted & perfectly contoured, lips full & eye brows on "fleek"(WTF is that word?)....and thats all before and after a baby! I decided, when I started this blog, that the relationship I have with myself was and is one of the most important relationships I have and I needed to invest in myself in more ways that one.
I started with my clothes & fashion decisions(If you're interested in that chapter, read this.) Slowly that moved into getting back into a fitness routine...which is still a work in progress. Most recently the focus has been on my relationship with food which has actually been the most successful! Now circle back to the Boudoir Photo Shoot. I told myself I would eat super clean, drink lots of water...then my body said "Hey thats cute" and the two weeks before my shoot...I was PMS-ing and got my period.
I know, probably TMI...bloated and fifty shades of hormonal...I didn't let it derail me. I didn't let it discourage me. Instead, I shopped make-up and false eye lashes and planned my outfits so I would feel a little more prepared. I scheduled a manicure and pedicure the day before and I was feeling good about this! Short side note: Do you know how stressful it is to learn to apply primer, concealer, foundation, bronzer-pretending-like-I-know-how-to-contour, eye shadow and falsies...in 48hrs?!?! Bravo to the ladies who have spent the time and money to learn how to do it every.damn.day...I applaud you! A girlfriend of mine decided to also do a photo shoot and scheduled her shoot right after mine so we made the plan to assist one another and make a girls day of it.
Saturday morning started at 5:30AM for me. Think of "First Date" prep....on crack. I spent an hour curling my hair and hair spraying it to the point it was a fire hazard. Showered, shaved-twice, moisturized, make up, make up check, hair check, bag check, make up check-again, hair check-again, time check, make up check-AGAIN...and out the door I went! Pit stop at my girlfriend's to assist with hair and then off to my shoot. The drive to the resort is when butterflies hit my stomach. I told myself I was going to do this, I was going to have fun and I was going to enjoy this experience because I did not just spend three hours getting myself dolled up for nothing!
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| Make-Up Mayhem |
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| The Mane |
Now for the company-All Things Boudoir-I would HIGHLY recommend them! They are an ALL female staff, they do not allow spouses to attend nor do they do shoot couples. Our location for the shoot was at the Westin La Paloma here in Tucson, AZ & the photographers have pictures and biographies for you to check out prior to meeting them for your shoot. The only part of arriving I did not like was that the waiting area is not within a hallway of the resort, its outside and its July...in Arizona...translation-I was sweating my whole shoot.
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| The lighting in the bathroom was amazing! |
The photographer's name is Andrea & Lord, she is adorable. She was welcoming, showed me the area I could go to change and asked to see my outfits so she could decide what approach to take in photographing me. I changed into my first outfit and off we went! At first, I felt out of place...ridiculous even. Andrea was so sweet and obviously is very good at what she does. She helped me open up and have fun. We had music, we used almost all of the furniture in the room-the curtains, the lounge chair, the ottoman, the bed...Ninety minutes later, we were done, it was my friend's turn and I was on my way to her house as she forgot one of her most important outfits.
As I drove away-I felt...liberated, empowered, confident & sexy!!! Andrea let me peek at some of the shots she had taken and I hardly recognized myself! I looked fantastic! I loved her lighting, her angles, the poses she put me in...I loved them-and that was just a peek! I had this adrenaline high that had me feeling so much more OPEN to opportunities that maybe I had thought impossible before! I made it back in time for my girlfriend to put on her outfit that I had retrieved for her and she finished her shoot while I sipped a cranberry and vodka on the floor of the hotel room. The cool laminate felt so good on my hot and sweaty legs and I didn't even care that I was plopped on the floor enjoying that alcoholic beverage.
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| Ms. Andrea shooting my girlfriend |
Andrea finished shooting my girlfriend and we got the skinny on what happens next. I informed Andrea that I bought a second shoot & she informed me that I can request her, which I totally am going to do. I made a joke that I'll be scheduling my shoot for October as well...screw hot weather and trying to look amazing for a photo shoot while you're melting. I asked if we could take a quick selfie as I wanted to document as much of this experience as I could...I knew it would be something I wanted to write about!
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| L-R: Myself, Andrea & Momo |
Considering we had forgone eating all morning, we took our famished selves over to The Living Room at La Encantada for lunch. Food has never tasted so good after conquering a hurdle of body issues! I sat there shoving food in my face and reflecting on how I felt...I can say I feel accomplished. I am more open to trying things that maybe initially feel like I don't "qualify" for. I feel like my spine is a little more erect, like my shoulders aren't quite so burdened with the weight of "but I'm not..." thoughts. I feel proud of myself-I stepped outside of my comfort zone to be half and fully nude in front of a complete stranger to have beautiful photographs taken. I learned how to apply make-up! Can't say I will do it everyday because I feel more comfortable and beautiful bare faced but I LEARNED! I feel more in tune with myself, my body...I have more appreciation for my shape, stretch marks, extra "love"...and this is all before seeing the final product! I cannot wait to do this again and have never been happier that I have continued to define my beauty for myself!
-Xo
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| Oysters, fries & lamb chops! |
UPDATE!!!! Yesterday I called into my photo reveal appointment & it was a mix of emotions. Pictures where I saw what I expected(now I know what work needs to be done)...BUT also pictures where I felt really sassy, sexy, confident and was 1000% happy with the shot(Cue to pat myself on the back and the butt for stepping out of my comfort zone and doing this)! I've ordered a set of the final five & should have them soon!
